Almost gave Mother A Heart Attack ( Again)

Polar Opposites - that's the best term I can come up with to describe myself & Mother

My mom does not drink or smoke or swear. My mom is an early riser , she's efficient, clean ..OMG she's so clean & organized. My mom is polite always smiling, thoughtful . And seriously , I could go on .

I on the other hand am the opposite of all of the above . Every now and then I get what I call a "streak of Mom" in me on a good day . But I have been known to drink smoke and swear on occasion. I am a night owl & I love to sleep late. My bedroom still looks like I'm 14 years old .
Clean ? Why ? My kids are 15 & 17 , and honestly some days in the morning I still wake up and go " OMG I cant believe I have kids and I have to get them to school "  Yes, after 17 years , I'm still sad about the morning thing . Now don't get me wrong I love them fiercely, with my entire being . But never could get accustomed to the " morning". 

This is not the first time I have almost given her a heart attack , I have been doing that all of my life. Mother has never known what to expect from me , and still after 44 years I keep surprising her ;)

Like recently when I decided to get matching tattoo with my son .

So here's the thing , My son and I had what I call a " fighting summer" in 2017 .
we weren't fighting with each other , we were fighting with the world to make some important goals become a reality. And guess what ? we won . We seriously teamed up together and won when all odds were against us . It was transforming for both of us on so many levels.
To me , it seemed only " right " that we get something awesome to mark the occasion . Something so that we would always remember this time , something that stood for who we are in the world . You know , like  matching tattoos or something ;)

Yes , tattoos freak my Mom out . That's where the heart attack comes in . Mom won't say " anything" she just gets that look of disgust on her face & her voice changes, she refuses to talk about it and changes the subject ;P ( this always makes me talk about it more ) .....

We choose " Glorious "
-marked by great beauty or splendor- possessing or deserving glory - victorious

We choose the "laurel wreath "
- a circle of leaves that in the past was worn on the head of a person who was the winner of a competition- Laurel was said to communicate the spirit of prophecy and poetry-It’s associated with purification and was seen as a plant with powers of immortality - It also indicates a power over the passions and is thought to protect from the influence of evil spirits and to give protection from lightening

See Mom , not so bad.
Curtis , I love you . Mom, I love you xxoo
Dear future wife of my son , sorry not sorry .
( The Raven is another "story"for another time )

 

See, thats my Beautiful Mom :)

NYE 2017 - Scrabble

Dec 31, 2017 . Jumped in the car .

We didn't really know where we were going , I had some typed directions , given to me by our dear friend Krista who so generously offered us her cottage as a Christmas " get away".
The road there reminded me of a pretzel & after a few wrong turns , we made it .
Pulled up to this gorgeous little cottage by the sea , complete with a pond full of little boys playing hockey on a square of cleared ice. You could feel the anticipation in the air .
I didnt even go inside , I jumped out of the car and headed towards the ocean . stood in front of it, closed my eyes, and smiled . Even though I had never been there before , I was home . 
We roamed through the paths , the dogs ran fast . We didn't talk much , we breathed ...alot..deeply.

I wish I had taken more photos, but I didn't . A good excuse to go back sometime for sure .

After our adventure we headed back to the cottage , we spent the evening playing scrabble .
Not that either of us is any good at it , we managed a few words , had a few laughs , ate a giant ham & sat quietly in the dark waiting for the new year , a new beginning . And when 2018 arrived ... we jumped in Head First ;) 





 

About Sam - About Fearless- About us

I was designing or rather wanting to design - something inspirational .
Simply because our entire brand since day 1 , 5 years ago - its been about sharing, growing, becoming something more. Contributing to the world in major ways. And when I think of our brand , I think about Sam .

I met her 4 years ago, she was just coming into " her own" she was hungry and willing to to offer her services for free so many times. Upbeat, positive, available at the drop of a hat . Nothing but amazing things to bring to the table . Every. Single. Time . 

 

Sam had started a business with Kerri Martin , " The Studio Beauty Bar " it was just the 2 of them , but because of their passion would grow into something much more ...

 

It would grow into a business that serves so many people , & employs over 14 people .
Imagine the power of that. The power of 2 passionate girls. Its incredible.

we love what these girls represent . Passion, dedication & the commitment to always move forward in business. 

Sam Picco - we honor you for being fearless in business & giving in life . xxx
Thank you for representing us in our brand .

It Chose Him.

I didn't really have much of a choice.

When the kids were watching cartoons, he was watching Hockey replays.
When a friend bought him a Tonka truck when he was 4 , he looked at it with a puzzled look on his face. We encouraged him to "play" by pushing it around etc, but he showed no interest, and refused to even pretend that it was fun. We also tried video games, his interest was short lived.
We could find nothing that captivated him . BUT, give that little boy A rock & river and he was set for hours & hours. Anything that involved throwing and catching , he would never quit. He was 4 when I put him on the ice , I had never seen a kid fall so much . And I had never seen him so happy . Honestly within 6 ice times , that little boy found his wings , and he never looked back .
Hockey came early for him . I cant remember his age exactly , but he was just little when he was waking me at 5AM " MOM WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE" And I was screaming , " CURTIS THE PRACTICE IS AT 10, RELAX "

Somewhere in between then and now , the years flew by and there were tons of wins and losses .
The roller coaster of everything that is Hockey when you are the Mother of a Goalie.
I have seen him let the winning goal fly by him , watch his head drop in disappointment .
Its been torture. And I have seen him save it & become the Hero , Its been overwhelming joy & pride.

Curtis is in his last year of High School , & that means the last year for a lot of Hockey.
He came to me in July and said " Mom , please , I need to play AAA , that's all I want "
I can't argue with him, I never could.

I knew the odds were against him, he's in his last year. So, I started a mission .
The mission was to do what ever it took to get him where he needed to be mentally.
We have worked on a lot of things together in the past 4 months.  One of the most important choices I made was to hire a personal trainer for him .
For this job, I choose Darrin Gray . There is nobody else I would trust with my son.
The idea wasn't to turn Curtis into A body builder. The idea was to teach him discipline , self respect. Learn about his body, understand that a healthy body is a healthy mind.

I pleasantly surprised today when I spent an hour at the gym with the 2 of them .
They seem to have this  mutual respect going on , the kind that's very chill yet serious.
Darrin gives Curtis the space and respect that ultimately encourages and allows Curtis to excel, always pushing forward . It was such a beautiful thing to experience. And of course , Curtis saying " Mom, watch this ... what ever I lift he will double it & the reps " And yes, beast that he is , did not disappoint. Darrin Gray , thank you for this , Thank you for your time , patience , your professional & personal approach. Thank you for making yourself available to support my son both in and out of the gym. Its an incredible testament to who you are in the world . 

Reasons Or Results - That is all . xx
 

Tent Tales #2 When the Inn's were full

From Port Rexton to Corner Brook

Originally we planned to drive the full 5 hours . But you know , 3 dogs, its getting dark & the idea of setting up camp in the dark became less and less appealing .

Camping is nothing new to me . I grew up camping for 2 months every summer with my grandparents. We would go from park to park to park. I can recall certain names of places on the west coast, but not the details, its been 25 years since I was there !!  We stopped in to a couple , but found them to be wide open RV spots. Honestly, its not my idea of a good camping time , so we pushed forward. On A whim, we headed towards Kings Point. I think I called every spot in that area. AND Nothing. So what do you do when you have nothing ? Its the easiest choice of all , you make something .

We started going down old cow paths that looked less traveled towards Kings Point.
Some were boggy others muddy ...  but then we found this one .


And the Flies? Totally worth it .

And we got all honks from passers by ! Yes !! Even the transport trucks !!
No flies on us !


 

So ... my kid can drive

I'm not sure how it happened.

All I can remember is him being 12 months old the first time I took him to the UK, OMG he was so heavy , I couldn't carry him !! Heathrow is a nightmare traveling alone with A kid.
I did what any good mother would do ;) I noticed a man working on some airport renovations, I politely tapped him on the shoulder and said , " please carry my kid to the terminal & I'll pay you 20 pounds . He smiled , scooped Curtis up and carried him the entire way . He wouldn't take the money . I find myself thinking of that man today , wishing I could just say to him " OMG he's driving now , all we did was go on a couple flights, have a few dinners, few report cards, couple hockey games, vacations, naps & adventures! How is this all possible ! "

All I did was blink my eyes.

So , my son , he can drive now . And he could have driven me anywhere on the Avalon on our first little day out together. This is where he took me . I had never been before and to be there with him and my girl for the first time was magical .


 

Tent Tales #1 Bobby Bit Her

Seriously. I was hiking the skerwink trail and all I heard from behind me was OUCH !
I glanced back & there she was , the sweet tourist lady in her perfect white hat, pristine white tennis shoes & slacks, yes slacks. My defense is Bobby has never seen the perfect pleated edge of the bottom of slacks, so perhaps he thought it was ... a toy? a steak? I don't know , but he grabbed her slacks. I'm absolutely positive that previous to the slack grabbing she bent down like they all do " Oh what a pretty little dog"  All the while Bobby is thinking .... GIANT HAND COMING FOR MY FACE !  ( sigh )

And those slack ladies , they want to talk . Like they are super friendly , over friendly !!
I blame the tourism commercials . Seriously , I am not the long red haired perfect child frolicking through the fields & my dog is actually scared of kids & not overly fond of strangers. The WORST thing you do is actually tell those "ladies" that you live here in Newfoundland . OMG!! Their faces light up with wonder " You are an actual Newfoundlander!"

Yes, I'm an actual Newfoundlander yes I actually livehere . I eat cod tongues about twice a year , I do drink rum, not always screech & my family aren't fishermen .

By's I just wanted to hike with my dogs . If you are out and about be warned ..
this island is crawling with slacked ladies these days .

Here's a few snaps from St.John's to Skerwink .
 

This "love" Its not your "Average" situation

No Joke . We have been together pushing 5 years. And I think we broke the record .
Award goes to the couple that broke up at least 180 times in 5 years . That'sMe & Nate .

And they weren't just pretty quiet break ups.
They were ... get out of the house I hate you its over forever break ups.
ALL OF THE DRAMA , ITS OURS.

So 5 years later , here'swhat we know ...

Nate & I ....
We have similar "backgrounds"
We were both an only child for 14 years . That means we struggle with a few things like ...
* I'm always right
* I'm the Boss
* I don't want to share
* There isnobody in the world but me
* My way or the Highway
* I'm good alone , whatever .

Ahh the pure bliss of being fully isolated independent and self sufficient.

But here's the glue ...
Space .
We give each other lots of it . ( matter of fact we live together in the same house . He lives in the downstairs & I live in the upstairs. We both have our own everything)

Freedom to Be.
There's times, often even , I book flights & I plan workshops all kinds of things . I don't "ask" Nate .
I tell him later , I always follow my heart . I never " consider" his "feelings" because I know he is living his own life. Sure , its important to me that he is happy . However, I know his happiness is not a reflection of what I am doing in my life.

Self Respect & Trust .
We are good in our world & we treat each other with open and honest respect.
We deal with things openly & quickly taking things truly at face value.We don't go to bed Mad.
( even but not mad )

Funny.
I'm funny , he's funny . And even when we are not really that funny , we think each other is funny.

Food.
We are food snobs.

Travel.
We love to travel. I once read a article that stated ... Don't get married , buy 2 tickets around the world and when you return , get married in the airport when you are done. " if you still like each other "

Hey Nate , I still like you .

We don't know what we are at , and we do that very well.
I hate you, I love you.

Here's a typical day with us ...


 

From Rags to Riches

I didn't go looking for fancy breeders. Matter of fact, i didn't go looking for any breeder. In true Nicole " style" I hit kijji random spur of the moment decision. And I found him .
What my Mother so affectionatelyreferred to after seeing his photo as " The ugliest dog in the world" I called the number , they didn'ttell me much except that he was A year old , 3 pounds and the owner could no longer care for him.

So I said " Ok sure , I'll take him . I'll pick him up from you July 1 , I'll bring cash .
That was 2 years ago today . And what a 2 years its been .

This little muffin mends broken hearts, is full of passion & fierce love for the tiniest of tennis balls and moving water. He's come so far in just a short time . Our little guard dog , muffin, cuddle buddy . The reasons our smiles are a little wider.

Bobby- Happy Gotcha Day xx Keep rockin it .

Yes- we've had several hair styles in 2 years & we rocked every single one .

The first image below is what was posted in the paper . Seriously ? Yep. That was him.
#takealookatmenow

 

First Day Home . July 1 2015

First Bath - yes, that nearly caused death for all of us .

WTF ? why did you cut my ears so SHORT?

1st Xmas , seriously , this is ridiculous!

And we finally found a decent groomer.

The Best Boy

It All Started with An Iced Capp

yep , an Iced Capp, because that's where all great things start.
with a solid dose of sugar & coffee. We " meant" to out for a "few" plants .
As in just a "few" . Before we knew it , we had a cart full of plants and seeds ....
And that was only the first stop. Nate decided we needed a tent , yes a tent.
So we bought a tent, and sleeping bags and an air mattress and a cooler ,
we are basically self sufficient here in Paradise now ;P
With the most awesome of " shoppers high" we return , racing against the sunlight hours because you know ...we HAVE to put up the tent because we HAVE to sleep in in it right away. And we HAVE to plant the PLANTS , and we MUST light a fire.

And we slept in that tent last night , and all was well .
And we woke with the sounds of so many birds this morning .
And we laughed because , christ we are a little "off"

we ate breakfast in the greenhouse ;) its our new "spot"
while we listened to the pouring rain .

Life on Purpose.

 

I'm Not Exactly A "Gardener"

The beautiful lady that owns my house , well she was being extra kind & had the entire greenhouse repaired for my use . I've never grown anything in a greenhouse #donthaveaclue
But, I'm going to this year . The flies on the wall are laughing because it sounds like this ....

( me to my 15 year old daughter )
 

Me - Hannah come on lets do something awesome
Her - What ? I'm doing my makeup
Me- lets clean the greenhouse
Her- No, thats not awesome

I did actually manage to get her out with me because i told her if she didn't I'd take her phone .
But ... It was 110 degrees in the greenhouse , she said the heat was making her sick . I gave her my camera and told her she could be the creative director. Some photos we taken but mostly they were mirror selfies & photos of her feet.

yup, project greenhouse. braking mother and daughter relationships since the beginning of time .
On the upside I got a truckload of wood . That's me having all the fires in Paradise this summer #highfive

 

Feels Like Home

I've owned 5 properties in my life . I sold my last one 4 years ago . It was then that I decided I'd never own anything again . Instead I'd go where I wanted . The goal was and is to be unattached to physical spaces and things , instead I'd live and create a life that is rich and powerful in experiences that change as I do . We've come to live here in this space for now .
Its the house that Christina grew up in . Its sweet and quirky, it has panel board tons of it .
(which is hilarious) Its super warm & its wrapped in love & magic . We feel like we are better people here, its just that simple.
 

8 months without the youngsters

I wasn't " totally" out of the "picture" But Tors Cove can be .... pretty far away in the dead of winter. Now that " I'm Back " with them , I've come to truly understand , every single moment is worth savoring. Tonight in all its nothingness was spectacular, just what we needed .
#fullhearts

Red Cliff

I tool her to Red Cliff because it's beautiful & weird and random.
The perfect evening all the love .
#notwithoutmydaughter
But I did find this cool link ...http://www.hiddennewfoundland.ca/red-cliff-radar-station

 

This time with my Girl on Cobblers Path

I noticed the way her hair moved the most. And when she said " I love the wind" , I think my eyes filled up a little . I watched the way her arms moved and how her perfect milky skin seemed to glow. I caught glimpses of her smile as she stood at the lookouts & I could tell for brief moments she was present to the beautiful space. We climbed up and down and up and down . I wanted to tell her that it was significant because life is that way , but I didn't. I tried to be quiet and not express my thoughts and emotions on her. I wanted her to have her own experience.
I loved her so much there . My girl is not my princess , she's my Queen.
#neverwithoutmydaughter

 

First day with my Shirt off 2017 - Blackhead to Peggy's Leg

Yes, it was that hot , I had to take off my shirt.
6:00 PM just a few KM away from Cape Spear.
Insanity. And, guess what else ? NO FLIES.
seriously we aren't even into summer yet & I'm having the BEST SUMMER EVER.
About the trail - Dogs off leash , no problem. However, my dogs listen to me when I scream really loud . And I mean really LOUD. Beware there are a couple lookouts that are easy for a anyone to fall over - including a dog cat bird beast ( ok maybe not a bird, assuming they would fly) 6KM of Heaven at Home .
The views are AMAZING, the air is the perfect combination of salt & sweet.
Yes, you'll sweat , tons of steep inclines & challenging terrain.
But don't matter because you can take off your shirt, the trees dont mind .
Neither did Nate ;)

 

How Could I have NEVER been here before ?

Its the simplest thing , 10 min from Paradise is Quidi Vidi Gut .
There's a trail there that leads you , mind you ... it can lead you a very long way .
We just hiked to the top with the 3 muffins .
You'll want strong legs- just sayin.
And if you are either bit clumsy at all , don't bother .
Afraid of heights ? skip the hike & go to Tims ;)
Its wide open spaces up there, the edge of the earth.
I'm inlove.

 

Our StayCation - A hike to Freshwater Bay

I've often dreamed of the idea of "permanent vacation"
Little did I know , it was right infront of me . So the other day I had A " bright idea"
As bright as they get for me in the mornings ;)
( I'm trying to become a morning person , honestly )

Whenever I am on vacation I wake up early in the morning with anticipation of what the day will bring . I thought, what if I actually live my life everyday as if I'm " excited about what the day will bring" simple right ? When I actually gave it some thought ....

Right here in Newfoundland, the paths I haven't walked down , the towns I haven't visited & the people I never met . I feel some serious doggy adventures coming up this summer .

This was our little Adventure today . The path to freshwater bay was 2.5km down , a rocky trail but the dogs were so happy to follow along off lead. At 6AM I wasn't so much worried about running into anyone . The views and sweet summerish air did not disappoint.  Our paws got muddy, our noses ran a little . We returned home rejuvenated - yup, like vacation .



 

Kids in The Cove

Sliding Adventures.
You spend sometime on the hill, and you begin to thing of things that could make a great slide.
If only we could find something bigger, better & faster.

And then someone has the great idea to blow up the rubber dingy.
And it wasn't a kid that had that great revelation.

Tors Cove , there's no need to be all serious here ;)
Real Life - Real People

x
#WITW

 

The Day of The Storm.

Friday
January 20 , 2017

The Day of The Storm .
The Day of the inauguration in the US.
The day I visited Running The Goat , Books & Broadsides in Tors Cove

If I was any good at writing stories, I wouldn't have to lug around this heavy camera & gear .
Instead, I tell my story of what I see , my perception of the truth, and sometimes my perception is not the truth at all .  But whatever my images are , they are just my story.

Now , about Running The Goat.  I searched online , the article I most loved was here ..

http://destinationstjohns.com/article/the-lay-of-the-case-a-look-inside-running-the-goat/





The paper , that watercolor paper, the kind you just want to sit with and touch for a long while .
The little words, the press, the light that made things sparkle. This space is a creative spirits dream . You won't want to leave , promise.
 

Nicole's Journal